How to say “sorry” in Thai

Sorry and excuse me in one

ขอโทษkǎw-tôot is ขอkǎw (to ask for) + โทษtôot (fault, blame): literally "I ask pardon for the fault". It covers both English uses:

• Apologising: you bumped someone, you're late, you got the order wrong.
• Getting attention: before asking a stranger a question, start with ขอโทษนะครับkǎw-tôot ná kráp or ขอโทษนะคะkǎw-tôot ná ká, then ask.

To get past people, though, Thais say ขอทางหน่อยkǎw taang nàwy, "may I have the way, please". And to call a waiter, most people don't say sorry at all: they catch an eye and say น้องnáwng ("little one", for younger staff) or พี่pîi (for older staff).

Small and big apologies

Between friends, ขอโทษทีkǎw-tôot tii or just โทษทีtôot tii is a quick "oops, sorry". For something that really matters, ขอโทษจริงๆkǎw-tôot jing-jing, and to say what you're sorry for, add ที่tîi + what happened: ขอโทษที่มาสายkǎw-tôot tîi maa sǎai, "sorry I'm late". On signs, in shops and in announcements you'll see the formal ขออภัยkǎw-à-pai, as in ขออภัยในความไม่สะดวกkǎw-à-pai nai kwaam mâi sà-dùak ("we apologise for the inconvenience") on every roadworks sign.

Sorry for an apology, sorry for sympathy

English uses "sorry" for sympathy too ("I'm sorry to hear that"); Thai doesn't. ขอโทษkǎw-tôot means it was your fault. For sympathy, say เสียใจด้วยนะsǐa-jai dûay ná, literally "I'm sad with you". Mixing them up is one of the most common learner mistakes, and in a hospital or at a funeral it matters.

How Thais apologise

A sincere apology in Thailand is calm and soft. Lower your voice, smile a little (a smile here signals goodwill, not that you find it funny) and, for something serious with someone older, add a wai. Arguing about whose fault it was, or raising your voice, makes things worse, because both sides lose face. Often the other person will brush it off with ไม่เป็นไรmâi bpen rai even if they're annoyed: accept it, thank them, and don't make a scene.

Pronunciation

Two syllables: kǎw rises (start low, end high), with the "aw" of "law"; tôot falls (start high, drop), with a long "oo" and a t that you stop without releasing. The "h" in spellings like kho thot and khor thot only marks breathy k and t sounds; there's no "th" as in "thin". If both syllables come out flat, Thais will still understand you, but the rise-then-fall is what makes it sound natural.